This photo. You know this photo? I like the graphic. Also, it’s this article. Yeah.

It’s been three hours since Twitter blew up over an Xtra article hitting the web. The piece, written by Kate Raphael, details how quarantine has made her distanced from her queerness, a real thing most of the LGBTQ community most likely feels after having to give up Christmas in June (Pride). To recant these feelings of isolation, Kate turns to her boyfriend and asks for help reaffirming her queer identity. She asks for a haircut.

On paper, this diary entry/ think piece doesn’t sound too bad. It’s a nice re-telling of a cute moment in a relationship that might work…


I am no aficionado on British Drama. I avoid “Keeping Up With The Monarchy” almost out of spite. My girlfriend loves watching the Prince Harry/Meghan Markle engagement announcement video and so, I unwillingly agreed to join her on the Oprah interview airing tonight. I hate even writing this, but my newsletter has come to reflect my mother’s taste in television: The Bachelor and the Royal Engagement.

On Sunday, March 7th, Oprah aired an interview with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. Admittedly, I have a vague understanding of Meghan Markle (once saw a Tiktok of her “sucking dick” on some trashy…


“Straight,” otherwise known as a concept I’ll never try.

Jean Jacket Straights

The ones who are gayer than they think they are. They listen to good music and, surprisingly, know more queer movies than you. They’re dating a guy who is their best friend and might also be a jean jacket straight. They’re really cool and you’ll probably fall in love with them, only to find out they ghost you to date six different types of guy.

Influencer Straights

Decked head to toe in Fifa tennis outfits paired with Coach shoes. The preppy girl you were attracted to in high…


It’s been almost a month since Happiest Season broke the internet. Much was expected from the first lesbian holiday film, which premiered on Hulu on November 26th, and much, to our dismay, fell flat. Lesbians stormed Twitter and Tiktok alike to take up their torches defending Abby (Kristen Stewart) from the clutches of Harper, straight actress Mackenzie Davis playing yet again another lesbian character in a groundbreaking queer film. …


The Grinch is sexy. There’s no getting around the objective truth facing us all square on. The Grinch. is. Sexy. A nonpartisan issue, that is not black and white, gay or straight. One month out of the year, we celebrate an icon with a short lived shelf life and a long lengthened staff. To capture our collective feelings towards this tall Sex God, I have compiled a thorough list on why I would like to pipe the Grinch.

  1. He has a dark history. I could fix him.
  2. To put in the words of my friend Gray: “he really throws his…

The Euphoria of my time was Skins, a British show centering teens with drugs problems and the lives that led them there. It featured Tony, the leader, Syd, the unfuckable virgin, and Effie, the train wreck delivered to us in season two who set the pace for women hurting everywhere. She was our Rue, our Jules, someone to look to in bad times and project on in good times. Addicts and fuck ups on screen seemed to handle it better than you. They make it fun. They make it sexy. …


Get ready for four hours of uncertainty.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

If you want to take a seat in the middle chair, I’ll be right there once I sweep up the extra inch and a half I cut off my last client for fun. Do you want anything to drink? Water, Diet Coke, Vodka? For some reason, we have Vodka in this hair salon, which makes no sense on paper but in practice, when I ultimately fuck up your hair, it will totally check out on why we have Vodka.

Do you have any photos of what you want to get done? It won’t necessarily matter, but I’d like a vague…


Dun dun da daaaaa, dun da da daaaaa! Can you hear the wedding bells?

I am proud to say after many months of getting to know each other, the space heater under my desk has finally agreed to marry me. Eep! Please read the following Save the Date invitation for details on our wedding.

Most of the office already knows our love story but we’d like to reiterate for those who don’t. Space heater and I met the first day I started working here. I didn’t see them until a month after I’d worked here, considering it was summer and I didn’t have much use for them. Seasons changed and I realized I truly…


Pride month has gone on far too long. There, I said it. Someone must put their foot down and tell it like it is and that person is me: a straight.

Already, it is the twentieth and I am exhausted. Like, HellOOOooo? Where are our eleven months? There’s just been so many days this month where I’ve had to listen to marginalized people whine about how objectively homophobic I am. I’m not, okay? …


My retainer tastes like dog. It’s the closest I’ve come to comfort in a while. The familial touch of someone you love is a relic in my head. A memory in amber. I put a pillow in between two bodies when they exist in one place, so far gone from a point of return that I don’t know which way is out. I’m not sure the last time I stayed when someone touched me.

The first time I kissed for emotion and not technique.

I’ve been fumbling so long through a maze of roses all that’s left are thorns. The…

Meggie Gates

I’m trying my best, here. www.meggiegates.com

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