I’m Protesting Feeling Uncomfortable During Pride Month When Everyone is Uncomfortable with Me All the Time

Pride month has gone on far too long. There, I said it. Someone must put their foot down and tell it like it is and that person is me: a straight.

Already, it is the twentieth and I am exhausted. Like, HellOOOooo? Where are our eleven months? There’s just been so many days this month where I’ve had to listen to marginalized people whine about how objectively homophobic I am. I’m not, okay? I’m just tired of seeing people who have been oppressed for years and still are in over 71 counties share their brave stories of love when I only got 138 likes on a photo of Mark and I kissing.

I know, you probably think this has something to do with some deep rooted inner homophobia I should work out within myself but that’s not it. It has NOTHING to do with seeing Mary Stern change in the locker room in the eighth grade and feeling weird about it ever since. Yes, I refuse to work through this in therapy and am maybe jealous of your self discovery, but that has nothing to do with how I feel. Stop shoving your happiness down my throat so I don’t have to take my deep-rooted insecurities out on you.

I’m tired of attention not being on me because I demand it 24/7. I don’t know how you keep coming up with ways to isolate the majority, but you do. At this point, what more do you want? You already got your rights when stonewall happened, right? I’m 100% sure that’s when you won your rights. Yes, the only lead I have for this is everyone posting about Stonewall online, but, as a straight, I’m 100% confident in myself and my sexuality all the time. What’s the point of using a search engine to educate myself on anything like history or lesbian theory when I can just post how annoyed I am with no consequences, whatsoever.

Stop whining. I don’t understand whatever battle you’re still fighting. Gay marriage was legalized in America in 2015. That’s the only country worth knowing about for me, a certainly straight person who’s too lazy to Google the rest of the world. Ugh, it’s such a bore to think about places like Iran or Yemen, where being gay is legally punishable by death. It’s even more of a pain in the ass to think about Mary, in those turquois soffe shorts.

Listen. We get it. “Coming out is hard for you” big whoop. “Maybe I hate myself so much because I haven’t come to terms with my own sexuality.” Who cares. You know what was hard for me? When Brad didn’t match my color pallet for senior prom in 2011. For the love of God, Brad, it wasn’t peach! Mary would have known peach wasn’t our color! We would have picked blue, to match her eyes. Honestly, what is wrong with you?

I’ve had it with your ability to mind your own business. As a straight person, I’m over Pride month. Straight people have trials and tribulations too, you know. We just don’t have to work through years of self-hatred, catholic guilt, and doubt like you do because sometimes, we choose not to. Sure, media portrays our love as the norm and has only recently started normalizing something that has long been deemed sinful for years.

I could never understand how you shut us out of a group that doesn’t accept heterosexuality as the only truth. You’re attacking straight people online because you have every right to the pent-up frustration both of us probably feel.

#StraightPride

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