NOW PLAYING: American Horror Story, Murder House

Every week I will be covering a pilot of television. The next few weeks will be American Horror Story. If you enjoy this: subscribe to my newsletter :)

American Horror Story Murder House premiered in 2011, a time I refuse to accept was ten years ago. I don’t even know how I found out about the show, but the girl down my dorm hall who had black hair and a lot of tattoos suggested we watch it so I said okay.

Alas, I loved it.

Murder House starts off with two ugly ass ginger kids beating the shit out of an old house. Some girl outside says “you’re going to die in there” and shit, she’s right! They do!

Apparently no one has learned yet not to go into basements where doors mysteriously open on their own!

There’s some weird shit in this basement, like a frog and a baby leg in a jar of floating material. Watching it in 2021, I’m still spooked by the creaky steps and cement basement, Troy struggling with his throat slit, the other brother screaming as something comes at him from out of the shadows. You’re like “oh shit, this show means business” then Connie Britton comes on the screen and you’re like “fuck, they got CONNIE BRITTON? Alright. I’m in.”

We learn Connie Britton’s pregnant but she’s having difficulty with the pregnancy. I stop…